What we've got here is basically a very unappetizing cheeseburger, with a limp beef patty, a slice of orange American cheese, and some sliced pickles and onion, all on a bun from which every last trace of flavor and texture had been mercilessly eradicated. It was accompanied by a breaded fish patty drowned in mayonnaise (but thankfully bunless), and a mayonnaise-dressed salad of shredded lettuce. This dish contained neither rice nor soup, so of CoURSE both had to provided on the side. I'd never seen rice served on a plate in this country before.
I had to eat the meal with a knife and fork, which felt utterly bizarre and disconcerting. This was probably the single most unappetizing thing I've eaten in Korea. Judging from the leftover food on the trays sent back to the kitchen for cleaning, my opinion was shared by the majority of cafeteria patrons.
Later in the day, as I was walking through campus, I heard a voice behind me say "Excuse me" in English. I turned around, and a nice-looking middle-aged Korean man said to me, in formal slightly accented English, "Are you not he?" I turned to where he was pointing, and saw this:
"No," I said, amused, "That's not me." "You look very similar," he said, and then turned and left. The banner is advertising some kind of upcoming event at the law school.
Was this a case of "all dark-haired white people look the same", or does this guy really look like me? What do you think?
Hrm...I think I see a slight resemblance? In other words, you guys look like each other 45%, and unlike each other 55%, say. But you are definitely _much_ better looking!
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to tell.
ReplyDeleteTry this:
1) Don't brush your teeth for two weeks.
2) Leave your moustache area unshaven for the last three days of those two weeks.
3) Leave your beard area unshaven for the last day of those two weeks.
4) Stand in front of a huge Granny Smith apple.
5) Smile broadly, but lift your lower lip up in a way to completely cover your bottom teeth.
6) On second thought, just have your bottom teeth pulled. I tried doing the step above, and this sounds a lot easier.
7) Have your picture taken and put on this site.
Then we'll be able to tell if you really are he.
Julie, that's sweet of you to say. At the moment, though, I look decidedly worse. Hopefully after a round of antibiotics I'll be able to proudly display my lovely mug again.
ReplyDeleteAt that point, I will attempt to follow Josh G.'s regimen.
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ReplyDeleteYou look more like him than I do. I look more like him than approximately 50% of men of European extraction do. You do not look particularly like him.
ReplyDelete[I deleted the previous comment because I had accidentally written "people" rather than "men." I look more like him than approximately 25% of people of European extraction do.]
Make that 75% of people of etc.
ReplyDeleteNeed more coffee.
I think you look approximately as much like him as you look like D.X., who was once mistaken for your identical twin.
ReplyDelete